Pre stroke I was never a big ‘bath person’ I’d have one if I was aching post gym or gymnastics but I always found showers a more effective use of my time and felt cleaner afterwards.

Until that option was taken away from me post stroke in May 23.

I remember the frustrating days of my hospital stays and missing comfort, familiarity and nice things. Showers had to be completed with 2 staff members, with huge assistance, I’d sit on a chair and people would attack me with sponges, wash and towels. Sometimes it was male nurses, support workers, other times the OTs would join in for what felt like their entertainment while I’m sat, naked, feeling like I’m in a car wash. Because of staffing demands the staff were sometimes unable to shower me.

One busy day I asked if I could have a bath instead as I thought it might be easier for the staff. Thinking, wrongly, there would be a walk in large bath. Instead I was hoisted onto a large bed sized trough, placed under the shower and had another, less comfortable, more embarrassing car wash style experience. It was horrible. The “bath” was stored opposite my hospital cubical as a reminder of how little dignity, independence and mobility I now had.

Once home the OTs spent lots of time considering hygiene options for me . Our large ground floor bathroom became somewhat adapted with a shower chair in the cubicle. We tried getting me in our bath but I just wasn’t physically ready to climb in and out safely . a bath board (a sitting shelf that spreads across the bath) was acquired but didn’t fit our oversized bath tub . We have a regular sized bath upstairs but I wasn’t , yet, capable of going upstairs.

Eventually, after building strength with some blind determination, hope and Rich watching me I did get into the big bath. It was lovely to be sat, warm and quietly. Washing was a little easier in the water too.

I started a routine of Monday night baths. I bought candles, nice bubble bath and nice body wash to make the most of my bath experiences.

It became a comfort having the bath as an option which felt a little luxury.

Until now September 25 when a late display stroke side effect has lead to me being told no baths; I’m feeling quite down about it. I now associate baths with independence, luxury, comfort, relaxing and happiness. I would utilise the time running a bath to shave, I would make phone calls and write blog posts in the bath to be productive. How long I’m going to be restricted from this tiny pleasure is anyone’s guess