Note: this post was modified 2 days after originally posting to tidy some grammar, clarity and add some song lyrics.

In my head I’d always had a rough plan of my how life would play out. Our children are now adults, our marriage is almost sickeningly sweet, I’ve had a very good career that I have loved, I had a couple of hobbies that I was distinctly average at, a large group of friends and always social plans afoot. I’d imagined I would be scrubbed at an operating table until I retired. Still knocking around with my mates doing silly things, travelling to nice places and exploring with my husband. Driving nice cars.

Then in barrelled 2023 and scrapped all my life plans.

A wise man told me a while ago: that strokes take a year to accept, a year to adapt and a year to progress. He’s scarily accurate.

Crystallised well into my second year I’m hitting my progression stride.

I’ve recently made an incredibly difficult decision, with lots of sleepless nights and reflection, to step away from my and career thus far. I’m not completely stopping work but moving in a different direction to a skill I’ve always had a high level of interest and passion for but taking it in to a different environment. You know sometimes you come across places, people and opportunities which just feel right in your gut ; I’ve found exactly that. I found Somewhere that instantly put me at ease and I felt like a confident, useful version of myself not an inconvenience or obstacle , I’m excited to start that next part of my career. It comes with an array of benefits and feels like the fresh start I need at this point and I am very ready to commit to it.

I’ve recently found myself a real hobby too.

In spring 2025 I got a message from someone who had done some fitness based rehab with me a while ago “hi Ben, not sure if you know but the local, professional rugby team have a few disabled teams via a charitable foundation, they are on the hunt for new players. I think you’d be perfect for it” I soon made contact with the team manager. Getting more information; the game is played slower if you can’t run (like me) there’s options on physical contact (I play no contact) I attended a few practices sessions where I was welcomed instantly. I surprised myself with my physical stamina, ability to pick up the game and how much I enjoyed the training.

I felt like I’d found a tribe, people, some with similar life experiences and disabilities but all with a shared passion for the sport. I’ve gained new friends who understand me and we can all bounce off each other, it’s a huge comfort to have.

I have never been especially sporty or on a sports team so it’s been a great learning opportunity for me, being welcomed on to the team during an evening main non disabled club match, I was called out on the pitch and presented with my own shirt and kit. Squinting into the stadium holding a “surname ” shirt next to a professional sportsman. I’m not sure what was brighter that evening, the floodlights or my smile

Competitive matches started late spring and I’ve found I have a competitive streak that I’ve never known. I enjoy the matches, I really enjoy the post match beers, food and chats with the team. It’s given me a huge rehab boost too, I’m certainly quicker at moving, I’m hopeful to one day make a run on the pitch.

I never expected rugby or a disabled sport to become such a key thing on my life but similarly to my career it’s about recognising I can’t change the stroke happening but I can change how I respond and forge new paths

Change (change, change)

Oh, nothing′s better than a change

Another place to start

I’ll never forget that I need you (need you)

Tryin′ to learn that you’re tired of me

What have you got to inspire?

Ready to go, but there’s no change

Who do you really admire?

🎵- change, yungblud 2025