I was recently asked a fairly innocuous question: “what keeps you going? Where do you get your mettle, grit and determination?”.

It has been part of a bigger conversation with a health professional and it’s brought the conversation to a standstill because I couldn’t t really answer “err I don’t know” was my very sheepish response. But the question stuck with me, not just because it had created an awkward silence but because as someone who went for a while without the ability to speak and express myself I now always chose my words carefully whether they be honest words, silly quips or proclamations of love I give myself a high bar on using my words appropriately and with impact (note this is on a blog) . So to be stumped gave me a kick and a challenge and it’s one I’ve rolled into this post.

While I’ve had over a week to think; I still can’t answer the question very well., certainly not concisely anyway.

I am not a man of religion or faith but I do put a lot of trust in gut feelings and my gut has told me all along “this isn’t it and there is a solid future ahead of you”. So I continually focus on that golden point in the future that life will be easier, I’ll do more, I’ll get the reward: ( movement happiness, confidence, freedom and lightness) that come with those things. I hold that belief firmly in my core. It might sometimes need other people to join in with the belief to bolster me but that future is definitely one that exists. I remember when I had just started walking and how slow, difficult and incredibly frustrating it was. I was with my mum walking somewhere and she was, as ever, full of praise for my development . I looked at her and said “what if this is it?” What if it doesn’t get better?” She very assuredly told me it would; she was right, obviously, we now know that brighter tomorrow was ahead of me. I thought of that conversation on my 1 year injury anniversary as I was “hiking” up a fjord in Norway. Confidently moving, at a reasonable speed, safely. Surrounded by a stunning environment, the cleanest air ever and alongside my Rich. I’d got my golden point.

If I can make that much progress with my leg then why can’t I do it over and over with everything impacted, I believe my golden tomorrows are waiting. I just wish they’d hurry up.

This is it, boys, this is war
What are we waiting for?
Why don’t we break the rules already?
I was never one to believe the hype
Save that for the black and white
Try twice as hard, and I’m half as liked

🎶-some nights – fun. 2012