While I could, and I absolutely do, go on about big things I miss being able to do: there are obvious major things like properly showering with both arms, using cutlery, preparing food, gymnastics, going to the gym, my job role, etc etc (ad infinium) it occasionally, fleetingly becomes apparent there’s some “little ” things in life I miss, rather than ignoring it or lamenting too much I’m going to compile an ever evolving list:

• The feeling putting your arm through a jumper or hoodie where it’s soft, thick material and feels comforting and nice
• Tucking your hands in a long sleeve because it’s a little cold
• Typing with both hand on a computer keyboard
• Pointing to things
• Feeling my face as I wash it or put moisturiser on
• Tying a shoe (generally putting on shoes and boots; not being restricted to a couple of pairs)
• Holding a hot drink cup with 2 hands for warmth
• Putting my Hands in pockets
• Backpacks and bags
• Holding a phone and typing with both thumbs
• Being able to hold small pots and eat from them: say yoghurt, porridge or ice cream pots while they aren’t my favourite things to eat just having the option taken away is a frustration
• Holding a cup or glass with both hands
• Holding someone’s hand
• Opening a door so I can carry on a phone conversation with my phone in my functional hand or hold something
• Holding my iPad steady in one hand and using it with my working one
• Clapping
• Putting on a suit jacket or blazer (without it being an ordeal) to look smarter
• Carrying 2 drinks, especially pertinent in a pub where I either end up doing relays or looking lazy /selfish.
• Feeding the dog
• Untangling wires
• Scraping left over food into a bin
• Emptying a bin
• Carrying things upstairs
• Dancing, ok I’ve never been a good dancer but it didn’t stop me jigging around a bit, hands firmly grasping a drink or in my pockets
• Using water bottles and just opening any bottle
• Tightening lids on bottles
• Putting clothes away
• Packing (and unpacking) stuff for a trip
• Getting clothes from my wardrobe, off hangers,
• Gesticulating
• Hugging
• Being able to carry my work laptop / iPad and work at the same time, I miss the flexibility of saying let’s grab a coffee and typing notes as not feeling stuck to my desk
• Being able to multi task such as read and drink a cup of tea but only having the one functional hand means it’s an either or scenario
• Shaving my facial hair and pulling the skin taught to get it all.
• The feeling of a steering wheel
• Gloves, gloves! GLOVES! (It’s currently cold)
• Typing with 2 hands (again)
• Opening cans
• Pouring drinks
• Opening drinks bottles
• Filling a kettle
• Textures and knowing what things feel like, I still have sensation but sometimes I want to grab say a jumper in a shop and feel its softness or the texture of some food
• Shaking hands and then using the left to clasp over or pat a shoulder
• Holding interior car door handles and resting my arm on the arm rest
• Car doors in general, opening a door with one arm, throwing it back and trying to get out is a pain
• Putting a hood up
• Holding a zip/ neck tight on a jacket because there’s a chill
• Scratching an itch, I feel like a bear often using door frames, tables etc etc to scratch myself
• Not being able to zip a jacket or coat up if I’m cold
• Closing smart trousers with those metal clip things (I must google a name for those)update: an inside fastener, apparently
• Putting a dressing gown on for quick comfort or a hoodie / sweater for warmth
• Holding someone’s shoulders so I can get by them
• Cooking and prepping food to have control on what I eat
• Carrying a plate or tray e.g at a buffet or fast food
• Not being able to use cosmetics I want e.g a nice face wash because I can’t use the dispenser
• Not being able to use nice lip moisturisers because I can’t open or hold them
• Holding a door open for myself and/or other people
• As a person with male genitalia , I get to stand up to wee, being able to hold trousers with one hand and the other to wee was so much easier then just one.
• On that theme closing a fly; especially a button one is difficult with one hand, regularly people tell me my fly is open; which is frustrating and embarrassing.
• Putting headphones on, I end up poking myself in the eye and looking like I’m wresting the headphones.
• Similarly: sunglasses
• Not being able to peel fruits, I fancied a satsuma for over a week before I could get rich to peel and segment one
• Not being able to use my pockets. I have always carried: phone, keys and wallet. Now it’s a singular option or a bag
• Putting or removing cards in my wallet (and to a lesser extent cash which I’ve just abandoned using)
• Squeezing a spot on my face, yes I still get them at 30something but I can’t do anything about it
• Holding paper still to write on it
• Being fast enough walking to rush over a road.
• Not being able to nip in a shop and get a drink and/or snack on my way home having neither the speed nor ability to carry and pay for things
• Buying clothes without worrying about how I’d put them on
• Holding a notebook and writing in it. Instead I scrabble around for a surface to rest my book on
• Not being able to wrap a towel around my waist or shoulders ; let’s say I’m at hydrotherapy or the gym in a changing room trying to hold a towel to maintain some degree of dignity, nope, just drape a towel over my shoulder and hope it reaches low enough.
• Just drying off in general after a bath or shower, putting on a dressing gown too. I long for a relaxing bath, getting dry and sitting in my dressing gown (I can and do those things but it’s hard work and time consuming)
• I’d like to cut my own nails, I’d settle for biting them
• Opening deliveries, parcels and packing.
• Grabbing someone’s hand and running to see something being all excited and fun
• Reading a book or news paper with the feel of the book in my hand; I’ve swapped to a kindle but it’s just not the same, I miss the tactile element
• Just being able to move faster and with less thought
• Pressing and subsequently using anti bacterial gel dispensers
• Opening and closing car doors, I have a permanent bruise on my shin where car doors always hit me
• Putting seatbelts on easily
• Not being able to wear a backpack
• Struggling with other bags (opening zips with my teeth, just shoving stuff in and hoping it stays
• Wearing belts
• Wearing jewellery: ok I don’t have much but there are bracelets, a thumb ring and nice watch that will now just sit gathering dust forever
• Being able to buy/ wear / zip appropriate clothing, say coats
• Getting new tech and being able to use its full functionality
• Using wallets, bags, cases etc properly and functionally
• Being able to cook and prepare meals ;e.g I can. Using one hand, put a joint in the oven but not carve it
• Not being able to eat an ice cream due to pots not being usable or just the trial of am ice cream cone with one hand
• Walking down stairs holding something
• Putting on body creams: moisturiser or sun cream
• Not being able to bbq
• Scratching my arms, legs back
• Feeling and holding handles on things e.g water bottles
• Waking up in a morning and not having an immediate clonus spasm in my leg, arm or both
• Using note books that need holding open, I’m stuck with ring bound ones
• Not being able to open windows that need both handles holding open and pushing together
• Packing shopping
• Closing car doors
• Seatbelts both on and off
• Not being able to do a bbq
• Not being able to tie shorts (both swim and regular)
• Washing my hair with the shower hose. Also- using a hairdryer and styling
• simultaneously.
• Playing handheld video games, I’ve never been much of a gamer but I like the idea of a distraction and focus
• Making myself,and others hot drinks or cold / cocktails
• Halloween:
• ‘It’s what gays do, munch butts and celebrate Halloween’
• I can’t decorate Halloween or Christmas and I love a decorative plan
• Costumes; I have so many great ideas on costumes I’d wear but can’t construct or get them on
• Yoga – pre stroke I would occasionally do yoga, I was terrible at it but I was fairly flexible and I enjoyed the time doing it.
• Putting paper in envelopes and filing papers
• Using technology as intended
• Plugging chargers in: phone, headphones, iPad, kindle etc
• Washing a cup, plates or cutlery etc by hand.
• Filing papers
• Reactions around clothing choices. (I.e: opening the door to rain and not going to get a rain coat because it’s time consuming and difficult)
• Putting the dogs harness and lead on, she has learnt to try and position herself to help but it’s stilll fiddly
• Not being able to eat things like wraps, fajitas, burgers and sandwiches because I can’t hold the filling in.
• Not being able to change the battery on my vacuum cleaner
• Not being able to change the fluid on my floor mop
• Not being able to top up my electric diffuser without 3 trips and moving elements one at a time

Last updated: February 2026