Off shooting from my low (link pls) post about not being able to put the boots on that I like and ones that make me feel like me.

It got me thinking about all the little individual things I’ve lost and that then made me think it’s a bit like identity theft.

Let me elaborate, or try to

What makes a person individual? Let’s say you were describing your best friend to a stranger; I’ll do this as I go through describing my best friend Sam.

He’s pretty short, about 5’5 (he says 5’6. But I have doubts) I always said I was 5’8/5’9 but the day before the surgery and associated stroke I was weighed and measured and they said 5’10. My medical notes say that now so I’ll stick with it. The stroke hasn’t changed my height but I’ll keep the extra height I gained the day before.

He’s skinny, it’s funny how much emphasis we put on describing people’s builds and how sensitive it can be for some people. Pre stroke I think would have been described as muscular; I’d worked hard for years to ditch the skinny label; many, many hours in the gym and inhaling a high protein diet I’ve lost all that and can’t gain it back

I’d then tell you he’s got brown hair that’s thinning, short and messy.

My hair is usually very tidy in a skin fade with a textured short bit of length on top. Pre stroke I was quite particular my hair looked good but it’s impossible to get it how I want with one hand.

I’d tell you he’s always wears a check shirt and jeans and brown boots.

Pre stroke I was known for dressing incredibly well. Normally in a brand called Blakely. Their clothes are designed to be pretty tight and show off chest and arms. It’s futile wearing them now as I’m no where near the shape I was. Jeans that showed off my legs are also a no go; to get them on is a battle that would need a helper so I’ve lost more independence there.

Shoes, I miss wearing whatever shoes I like. I own so many pairs of boots, many timberlands, they are difficult to get on and impossible to tie.

Jackets and coats: it’s been a running joke for years about how many jackets I own, but I’m stuck without the ability to put one on easily.

My favourite outfit is a late summer / early autumn throwing a hoodie and shorts on. But long sleeve tops are an absolute nightmare and take two people. It then becomes a whole multi person time consuming saga and defeats the point of a quick layer.

Aside from his appearance I’ll tell you Sam’s hobbies:

Theme parks and travel, it’s one of the reasons we became friends.

Beer, he loves a drink, another reason we became friends.

Christmas, Sam’s job revolves around Christmas and he loves it

My old hobbies were the gym and gymnastics but again it’s something I can’t do anymore,

So without my hair, clothing, shoes or hobbies I feel like I’ve lost the unique things that made me, well, me.

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Apologies to Sam for this entire post and the less then stellar description I’ve used, I love you bro x