This isn’t a long, deep or exhaustive post; it’s a method for me to log things and stop stewing on them.

It’s a compilation of small things, while there are clearly big things but this is aiming to log the niggly things I miss which I will add to as and when things hit me.

• Leaning backon my elbows sat up in bed
• Holding a book or magazine to read; I miss the feeling of holding a book
• Holding a page still to write on it, a weirdly niche niggle
• Pressing the car horn dramatically (pressing a button isn’t quite as satisfying )
• Opening packets; I get lots of things delivered because it’s easier than shopping but then can’t open them which is frustrating
• Packing my own shopping; I can drive to a shop, walk around pushing a trolley and unload / scan if necessary I just haven’t got the packing ability
• Drying after a shower, one day I’m having one of those hot air body driers you stand on. Or just be able to dry myself properly
• Not being able to organise my own food to take for lunch when in work and then prep and eat it when there
• Similarly not being able to make my own drinks at work or make drinks for my peers when it’s my turn, I feel srude all the time
• Eating with a knife and fork especially in public. It’s embarrassing to have my husband or family cut my food and I look like an oaf eating with just a fork
• Change music in the car; I’m fortunate to have car play and voice control / Siri but I just want to reach out and press the button to skip a track, change volume or the temperature. Some of these controls are steering wheel mounted too but I can’t press those either.
• Play video games, I’d love to lose myself in the switch or ps5 or my laptop for an hour or two but cannot.
• I want to fuss my dog with both hands
• Typing with both hands; I have a mini keyboard for one handed use and I’m moderately fast using it but I miss using both hands.
• Opening bottles, I just want a drink. I hate having to ask for help on something so small or trying to squeeze one between my legs and risk spilling it all over
• Sponteneity: to just go “I’m going to go to x on my way while I’m out” but that doesn’t quite fit my current narrative or capabilities
• Individuality: carrying on from shoes. Clothes and appearance say a lot about you as an individual, not being able to easily dress or just grab what I want to wear makes me sad, I’ve always been very conscious and intentional with clothing, it’s just another little part of me I’ve lost.
• Hugs. I really want to hug people, I’m incredibly tactile
• Feel: I miss the feeling of things in my hand: a book, surfaces like a wooden handrail.
• Not being able to put moisturisers etc on with 2 hands or style my hair
• Fussing my dog with two hands
• Grabbing a seat belt
• Holding a car door open to get in/ out. My shin is permanently bruised from car doors closing on it
• Sleep positions (in fact this can have its own post soon)
• Cutting my nails.
• Being able to walk faster (like crossing a road)
• Just throwing a hoodie on because it’s a little chilly instead of wresting one on
• Being able to buy clothes and shoes because they look cool not because I can easily wear them
• Wearing a backpack and being able to use a bag easily
• Not being able to use nice stationary (I love a good notebook)
• Eating “handheld” foods that need both hands: wraps, tacos, burgers