I’m not sure the catalyst but in the past week or so I’ve had a flurry of nice things said to me and honestly I really don’t know how to respond, I just get a little bit bashful and say thank you and try to look sincere.

The biggest praise recently came from physio A1 who I saw in an afternoon when I’d been to work in the morning for some return planning then driven up to his clinic about 40 miles away

“Are you even listening to yourself Ben?You’ve been in work and you’ve driven; those words and actions are huge” he has naturally very light eyes and they properly lit up when he said that followed by “I’ve not known you that long but I am incredibly proud of you” he is correct, he hasn’t known me very long but he’s someone whose opinion I value. He gave me a very professional but caring shoulder squeeze. “Err thanks” was my weak response.

The work session in the morning had involved a walk around and observation with my employers occupational therapist, who had Neuro / stroke knowledge and experience, they analysed everything from my walking. Sitting,talking we talked through my day one (yawn)to now and said they could see my determination and they thought I’d done incredibly well so far, and clearly had some strong determination in me, very kind and true words.

Later in the week I was in work again for some educational hours.

Two surgeons who I’ve always had good relationships with came for a catch up; one a consultant, one a registrar.

The consultant demanded a hug and I did my best with the affected arm. They told me how well I looked and was thrilled to know I was returning to work even if not in a proper clinical capacity they were happy I’d be around again for knowledge purposes and made some great suggestions on things I could do to return.

The registrar is someone I’ve always got on with, we have an affinity due to their partner having cardiac issues so they’ve always kept a watchful eye on me. They gushed about the progress I’d made, they had seen me sporadically over the past 10 months when I’d previously dropped into work and we’d messaged a few times; they set off saying how far I’d come and they were happy I’d done so much and to take my work return steady. They even complimented that I looked like I’d filled out a bit more and got some muscle back (this is always a welcome observation although likely untrue ) between us we talked about how difficult the time has been, they had a little cry “from pride” apparently. And lots of one armed hugs; I really miss being able to give real hugs with both arms.

Even small things like walking around my large workplace with my boss and him saying how much better the walking seemed in just two weeks is a nice observation and even nicer to get as feedback

My mum, I’m sure I’ve mentioned many times how close we are and how much she’s done with me and for me since the stroke, a few days back said to me that since I’d started driving again and doing some work how much more confident and happy I seemed it even got a “I’m so proud of you” which always give me full heart warming moments . After filming some gym work to send to my Physio I noticed I had the tiniest of arm pumps going on on affected arm, screenshotted that split second and sent it her to show, the response was “I hope so and you’re coming on leaps and bounds at the moment” big beaming smiles over here.

Dreams aren’t what they used to be; Smile like you mean it .

– the killers,2004.