I had planned a busy 2023 until my plans were completely derailed by the stroke. Here’s where I expected to be at this point

2022 had ended poorly, 6 months of waiting on edge for a call for my cardiac surgery had left me in a stressed and anxious mess, so much so a holiday in December 2022 was full of painc attacks and tears and almost an emergency flight home.

I decided 2023 would start with some counselling to get through this and did, which worked incredibly well for me, some graded exposure therapy and reflective journaling helped.

I had expected the late winter to carry on like this

Spring I had expected to know a date for surgery so up until that point pushed myself to prehab: hammering the gym, eating myself sick with protein and being in full damage limitation expecting 6 weeks of limited movement and possibly 6 months of non strenuous activity (I.e no gym). I was hoping by late spring my surgery would be complete with one week in hospital after and 5 weeks recovering at home, we had prepared for me to move downstairs to our guest room for that time (which turned out to be a great idea long term )

May was Eurovision, after years of waiting the Uk was hosting, we had a hotel booked in Liverpool for the second semi final and had planned to join the outdoor events during that week.

Beyond that I expected a long lazy summer of dog walks and enjoying long walks without AF making me feel exhausted.

Late summer / autumn I’d decided that we would probably be going stir crazy at home and I’d be ready to start working on my fitness again. 2 weeks all inclusive in Cape Verde for me and Rich was in my head, a stress free couple of weeks laid out in the sun drinking too much beer and hopefully for me getting into a hotel gym to start a new fitness push.

Autumn would have seen me continue with fitness, trying to get as much muscle as possible and I even had thoughts of a competitive adults gymnastic event.

By winter I’d hoped to be looking absolutely incredible. At peace with myself and feeling the best I ever had free of cardiac issues and looking like a beast, I’d head back to work in a great space.

I know you shouldn’t wish your life away and I am a believer of everything for a reason but idhave loved to have seen that year truly pan out.