It’s been exactly 6 months since I surrendered myself to the surgery that led to the accidental stroke ; it’s always referred to as a cerebro vascular accident, I hate that phrase as it simplifies and downplays the catastrophic event on not just me but my family

Me and my husband last night made a trip to the pub, just us, which two months ago wouldn’t have been an option. We discussed the last six months in detail.

We started at the start and my poor memory of early events, I’ve got vivid recollection of being in the recovery room unable to move or speak and being angry about it beyond that there’s a blank space for a while like someone deleted that section of my memory ,I’ve lost the rest of initial recovery, the intensive care stay and first ward, my psychiatrist said it was likely ptsd and my brain just decided it was all too traumatic so ‘stopped recording’ I love that analogy Liz thank you.

I pretty much remember every part of my long stay recovery unit though, the Saturday night ambulance transfer there. The ward tour on a stretcher, the lovely staff, the rehab starting the Sunday morning with a beautiful physio ‘S’ sitting me up in bed and my core being so week I couldn’t sit up and balance and I fell on her ‘it’s like being so drunk you hold on the carpet to stop the room spinning’

I remember every staff member and have an anecdote for each of them too, I also remember each visitor I had, learning how to use a toilet again, being so angry that standing took such a long time to learn the repetition didn’t help and then steps taking even longer but I did have steps there (post here) which led to my chaotic discharge.

Home with moving and handling equipment for Rich to drag me round the house, initially having carers to help me get up and wash in a morning and make me food, an electric wheelchair to get out, the hiking pole which was a mental and physical support for a while

Our first family meal together. My birthday drinks with my house full of friends and family.

My first pub visit, my first walk, our first weekend away.

I remember most of these things very vividly (my brain was back on record mode).

I now: walk independently for up to 2 miles a day quite happily, in and outdoors, surfaces not being an issue I’ve walked my dog, we go out shopping, I see friends, I go to an adapted gym (for now) and continue all my therapies plus continually search for more. I start another next week.

We recently sent back the electric wheelcgair, shower chair and perching stool, I just didn’t need them anymore and they were reminders of a worse time plus taking up a lot of space in our guest room

Life’s come back kind of fast, I wouldn’t have done it without my gorgeous husband by my side, my parents constant encouragement. Adhoc physio, driving me around And any friends who have been by my side thank you all so much my day one lovelies. Kindness, support and love have been half this journey.

The next six months I’m devoting to my arm function and my ‘strokeiverssary’ in May 24will be spent on a cruise sailing back to the uk in the North Sea. Let’s see how that day goes.

Keep reading and thanks for your emails. Ig messages and clicks. I’ll likely do a 9 month update too.

Ben x