I wasn’t the first person in our family to have a stroke, when I was a child (about 8 I think) we were on holiday in Florida doing the whole Diseney world holiday, my mum called home one day to speak to her sister who told her that their mum my nanan Vera had suffered a stroke. It was a large stroke similar to mine. She lost use of the right side of her body which had been her predominant side a lot of her speech functionality went too.

I don’t remember much of it, but I remember she still held court every Saturday in her kitchen surrounded by her children and their families. She still cooked a mean Sunday lunch too thst always had Yorkshire puddings as a starter, on reflection the woman was a genius! Cooking something difficult like a Yorkshire pudding with one arm and not even her predominant arm.

She had a stair lift installed and I don’t ever recall her walking stairs, Msybe an outside set to get to bingo in the community centre across the road apparently the council installed a handrail for her to get up and Down

Eventually in my teenage years she moved into a special shelteredflat for her safety, she was still somewhat unsteady, had developed epilepsy and had a bad chest, the flat block had a warden who lived in the flat next door and would nip in daily to say hello and if nanan pressed a buzzer for help she could go and help if not it connected to a callcentre who could despatch an ambulance if necessary.

I don’t recall her having carers but apparently she did to help wash and dress in a morning, get her breakfast, make her a sandwich at lunch leave an afternoon snack and also plate her a meal in an evening.

As a family we would all visit on a Saturday with lots of my aunts, uncles and cousins, I’m aware my auntie Jayne and mum used to go a lot of daytimes to help her and keep her company.

When I was 16 and at college I would sometimes take a bus home that passed her flat and decided on my half days I’d nip in in the afternoon so did for a while, I’d make us tea and sit and watch tv with her, although I sometimes felt bad if she fell asleep like I’d disturbed her day.

She survived many more years. Jokingly known as the creaking gate due to he various illnesses and even broke a hip too, she outlived her husband my grandad Jim by a few years too.

Through much of my stroke recovery the wider family made comparisons to things she had done or things I was doing, I’m not sure that’s the legacy she would want but here we are, it’s the only comparison they have to use and I hope if there is any form of afterlife she’s been watching me since mine happened and has been pleased with my progress, I’m doing this for us both nanan Vera.